Metal + Sled + Freezing Temperatures = DAMN NOT AGAIN!

The idea of manufacturing a play thing (in this case a sled) that is used only when the temperatures are below freezing, and having metal near the mouth of the user, was and still is idiotic. I am sure most of you have seen a movie where someone is dared to lick a metal flag pole in freezing weather. The result is better than any ‘instant glue’. The tongue and the pole become one! As does any child and a sled, when riding their ‘flyer sled’ down a hill, and in their excitement stick their tongue out – only to come in contact with the (brilliantly designed) metal attached steering mechanism of the sled. So – visualize if you will – going down a fairly steep hill (we did have them in the northern parts of the Prairies) with other kids walking up, or riding down at a slower speed than you. Continue to visualize some poor kid (me on more than one occasion) going down this fairly steep hill, with his tongue attached to the steering device of the sled. To turn one way or the other is instant agony! Continue to visualize, the rider having two choices; 1) Damn the torpedoes – full steam ahead, run over anything that is in your path… 2) having the guts to steer and ripping their tongue from the metal! I have personally done both, and prefer the full steam ahead. When you rip your tongue free, part of your tongue remains attached to the metal – and DAMN it hurt! Believe me, it is painful (I mean it HURTS – TEARS – BLOOD – WHERE IS MY MOMMY HURT!) – And add to the pain the embarrassment that everyone there knew you had been so stupid to have touched your tongue to the sled. So, sled riders – unite – boycott purchasing any sled that has metal within two feet of the riders’ mouth. As an aside, I was also known to attach my tongue to the zipper on my parka – again OUCH! In ideal conditions, if this were to ever happen and you were near water, all you had to do was pour some cold water on your tongue and it could be removed without blood and screaming. I cannot recall ever being near water!